"At that root level of our fundamental needs, our commonalities outweigh our differences."
Oren Jay Sofer is an author and teacher focused on mindfulness, meditation, and Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In recent years he's been exploring the relationship between communication and meditation. Here he introduces why and how mindfulness intersects with conscious, respectful communications.
"Conversation is a dynamic interplay between each person’s choice to speak or listen. When those choices are conscious and respectful, conversations tend to be more productive and enjoyable. If those choices are unconscious or impulsive, conversations tend to be less productive and more stressful.
"I call this juncture the 'choice point' between speaking and listening. With presence, every moment offers a choice. Our ability to maintain presence at the choice point takes practice. Sometimes the moment of choice races by like a road sign while we are doing seventy-five miles per hour on the freeway. The impulse to speak can be so strong that it impels us to verbalize simply to release the internal pressure. If we tend toward the quieter side, it can feel as if those openings in a conversation disappear before we can muster our voice.
"This is where mindfulness comes in. In meditation, we learn how to observe unpleasant sensations (knee pain, a sore back) without immediately reacting. We develop the capacity to be aware of an impulse without acting on it."
Article: Meet Oren Jay Sofer, and Read an Excerpt from His New Book “Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication”
Video: Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication